Guitar Heroica!

‘Tis the season……when Back gets Guitar Hero for Christmas!

Forth and I aren’t much for giving presents to each other anymore, so this year we decided that we’d gift ourselves collectively with an XBox 360. It will be the most up-to-date game console either of us have owned since the Nintendo 64. Actually….Forth might have had a Playstation 2 in college, but I hear TheBeardedMan kind of destroyed it (along with a coffee table) during a competetive instance involving NCAA Football on PS2.

Anyways, I’m finally catching up with 2005 or whatever, and looking very forward to owning the Guitar Hero series, after playing it haphazardly through friends and roommates and whatnot. To some…it is just a lame videogame. To me–it’s the only videogame I’ve ever been good at. Like…really good. I mean, I’m probably rusty having not played in a few months, and it will take me a good hour or two to be what I used to, but I’m not bad. Perhaps the most striking thing is that Guitar Hero is the only thing I’m better at than Forth. Sure I’m a better cook, but Guitar Hero is something he SHOULD be better at than I am…and he’s just not.

Such is why I have to hold onto this nugget of power, and embrace it to its fullest. For one, I know more of the songs than he does, and for two–I kick his ass. All over the board. But enough of this: to conclude, I shall announce what I am looking forward to playing on:

-”About a Girl,” Nirvana

-”Crazy Train,” Ozzy

-”Dammit,” Blink-182

-”Everlong,” Foo Fighters

-”Heartbreaker,” Pat Benetar

-”Hotel California,” Eagles

-”Lazy Eye,” Silversun Pickups

-”Livin’ on a Prayer,” Bon Jovi

-”The Middle,” Jimmy Eat World

-”Misery Business,” Paramore

-”Purple Haze,” Jimi Hendrix

-”Schism,” Tool

-”Shiver,” Coldplay

-”Spiderwebs,” No Doubt

Or in other words….the songs everyone else is looking forward to as well.

**Back.

Casino Royale pt. 2

Quantum of Solace is getting mediocre reviews and hasn’t stood up as well to Casino Royale as people might have liked but I still enjoyed it and some agree with me.

I should preface this review by saying that this movie only works as a second act of the first Daniel Craig iteration.  There is less character development in this movie and it is – dare I say – artsier?  I’m not sure if I can back up the artsy comment (Back says she can so check the comments).  The character development was definitely less though.  The movie assumed a lot from its viewers and that might have created a problem for movie goers who like being spoon fed action plots.

A further issue I see with this movie is that Casino Royale broke the mold of the previous Bond movies and set the bar extremely high for its sequel.  Unfortunately, that put it between a rock and a hard place.  Quantum had to simultaneously break the mold and live up to the first movie.  In effect, it has to do what the last one did and do it in a new way, while ignoring the fact that the last way worked pretty well.

In a three act play, the second act is darker and perhaps doesn’t end as the viewer might expect it.  While the first presents that plot and the third resolves it, the second act makes it murky.  In that way it can leave viewers less satisfied because there aren’t any easy answers.  What is the Quantum? Was the villain Green – like White -  was just another step up the corporate ladder?  Will Bond ever get over his lost love?  All of these questions are left more or less vague by the end of the movie but I don’t mind complexity.

The “Bond Girl”, Olga Kurylenko, does a decent job in her role and I’d be interested in seeing more of her character but at times her choices seemed not exactly fitting.  Maybe that is a result of the Paul Haggis writing but I’m not sure.  Then again it wouldn’t be a Bond film if there weren’t a few issues that made the moviegoer think there is an easier solution than the characters came up with.

I do have complaints though.  The redhead MI-6 Bolivian desk worker – Fields – was disappointing.  The only way I can reconcile her acting and actions is by saying that her jump into bed attitude was an homage to the Bond of old who slept with three or four women each movie.  Her original costume was absurd as well and she constantly walked as if they had just plucked her off the runway.   Her only redeeming value was literally her exit from the film.  That truly was an homage to Goldfinger (Link is a Spoiler).  The irony that oil is today’s gold and often called black gold may have been lost on some movie goers though.  Also, the credits list the character’s name as Strawberry Fields – she refused to give it in the movie – so that gets a har-har on the laugh scale.

Overall, I enjoyed the ride.  I have recently been told that there wasn’t enough action but I disagree.  Though it had plenty of action it wasn’t one long fight scene and that is good.  There are too many hacks making action movies that think that action (pronounced: explosions) equals plot.

And this:

~Forth

Girl on Girl.

Because I’m a girl, it’s okay for me to have crushes on other girls. Without anymore ado, here are my top five Girl Crushes….

1.) Natalie Portman:

I love Natalie. I dressed up as Queen Amidala for Halloween and only wished that I looked as hot as she did. Natalie also stars in my all-time favorite Garden State, and I probably love her combination of hot and cute. In a way, you can’t imagine her giving it to a dude, but then when it actually happens, it’s pretty hot. See Paris, J’taime.

Natalie has also been rumored to be dating a number of men that I also find particularly delicious, including John Mayer, Zach Braff, and Gael Garcia Bernal.

Oh, AND she went to Harvard. Brains…body….talent. Perfect.

Hot, cute, innocent, sexy, pretty….Natalie can do it all.

2.) Rachel McAdams:

One of the newer loves in my life, Rachel first won my heart in The Notebook. Ryan Gosling already had it, thanks to Remember the Titans. She can play a lot of different characters, but always with the same cute sarcasm and charm. I’ve gotta say…she’s best as a blonde.

3.) Mandy Moore:

I don’t just have a crush on Mandy Moore: I want to BE Mandy Moore. She isn’t a stick, she has healthy curves, her boobs are decently proportioned, and she looks good as both a blonde, and brunette. Plus, she’s gone out with Zach Braff AND Andy Roddick. Wtf? She has a great voice, she can act too, AND she got to drive a VW Bug in her first music video. That really got my goat when I was 12, let me tell you. Her movies are cheesy and I love them. She is hot. That is all.

4.) Kirsten Dunst:

It gets a little messy when we start talking about Kirsten Dunst. I wanted to be her in Little Women when she was like, 8 and playing the part of Amy. When I was old enough to appreciate Interview With the Vampire, it was Brad Pitt that was obviously taking the reins of my heterosexual tendancies, but then Kirsten got a little dirty and went to rehab and yada-yada. Nonetheless, she’s my favorite cute, sexy little mess from Bring It On to Crazy/Beautiful to Spiderman to Elizabethtown to Marie Antoinette to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I mean….I’ve totally not seen that many of her movies. What?

5.) Maggie Gyllenhaal:

She should have been Kirsten’s sister-in-law, but whatevs. Maggie seems to be the most grown-up girl on my list, what with a fiancé and a baby and all, but she’s real, and she’s cute, and she should also pick better movies to be in. Sorry, but SherryBaby just left a bad taste in my mouth. Literally.

**Back.

The department of backstabbing:

The Bearded Man has been removed from the wedding in case anyone was wondering.

Guuuuuuh.

That is what I have to say.

Hilary?  Whatever, I don’t really care.  Yes, I do care more about Foreign Policy than many of these other subjects but I think HRC will put an Iron Lady face on our FP so that might not be bad.  I’d hate to get in an argument with her.  I mean if she can neuter 42 she can probably take me.

The Auto Industry?  Dunno.  Honestly, I don’t.  Every day I go back and forth. Five days ago I read an article that said let them go into Chapter 11 bankruptcy.  In 11 they can still make cars and yet have the protection of the government that will allow them to renegotiate certain deals.  I was sold.
The next day I read an article that said something to the effect that while bankruptcy might seem like a good idea – it is what we made the airlines do – it won’t work.  See the auto industry works on a loan system which won’t work under bankruptcy protection.  They take out a loan, buy parts they need, build cars, sell cars, repay the loan. (Farmers do much the same thing bytheway.) Since the credit market is screwed though, this all comes to a grinding halt.  If they can’t get loans, they can’t buy parts on credit, build cars, sell cars and even more damaging they take down the parts industry as well.  I was sold – I didn’t like it but I was sold.
The next day I read an article that said no they will be able to survive under bankruptcy protection. Basically, it goes Forth and Back until I toss up my hands.

Instead, I’m going to dabble my toes in the walking-back-expectations pond.  I may talk about this again later, but I wanted to just put it out there that we (on the left) should keep our “America’s going to change” rhetoric to a minimum.  I don’t want to get into it now but changes happen in increments.  One of the issues with America is that we’re screwed up because we expect results. Now.  That’s why Iraq isn’t working like it might have.  We were unwilling or unable to acknowledge initially that it would take a Herculean effort in Afghanistan and that hubris led us to attack Iraq.  It will take forty years for either country to reach where we’d like it to be.  With Team O winning in ‘08, people may think that the left should take what it can and give nothing back.  I’m not one of them.  I think that the goal over the next two years should be an incremental shift of the center, marginalizing the far right by creating distance between it and the dominant center.
Would I like to see radical shifts in the problematic sectors of the government?  Uh, yeah.  But I also think that Obama is going to be farther left personally than his administration will be forced to be.  I’ll let you know at midterms in two years whether he should be going further with the second half.  It is unfortunate but administrations get maybe 16 months before they have to start running again (Midterms).  Then they get less than a year to breath deep and take on the other side.  I want 8, 12, 16 years of smart Democratic rule.  In eight years I’ll have a child I’m sure /gulp.  I will quickly have to start looking out for his future.  These next four mean nothing to me if in the following decade doesn’t go in our favor as well.  I think that if Team O can get through some good looking reforms and gain seats in 2010 then they’ll have license to try to do something more dramatic.

~Forth

A Message to our 3.4 fans out there…

Forth is experiencing what he referred to as “post-partum depression” with the Election, and thus his post ideas are stunted, which in turn prohibits mine.

No successful blog can function like this, so until he finds a new muse, I suggest reading Cup of Angst, the blog I started to fill in the now long lapse of time between my posts here.

Anon for now, and stay classy.

**Back.

Ode to the Burrito.

There are many things I love in this world. Burritos are probably in the Top 5. I LOVE BURRITOS.

Pictured above is a Chipotle burrito. While in Minneapolis I used to frequent Chipotle and thought it was superior, but now Forth and I happen to be nestled between two Qdobas, which we now frequent out of convenience, and they are just as yummy. Sure there will be some contention there, but—a burrito is a burrito is a burrito, and I would like to shove all of them in my face.

An ideal night in the Back household marries two of my loves: Burritos and beer. There is little better than this combination–perhaps myself and the beach, maybe. First, a burrito is a day’s worth of food in itself. 800-1,000 calories per delious foil-wrapped creation may be a bit excessive, but whatever. It is pure decadance. Burritos are made of fresh ingredients, and cover at least 4 food groups. And drinking a Corona or two with the burrito only aides in digestion.

Perhaps the only thing better than beer and burritos is…..beer, burritos, and chips and salsa.

I’ll be damned….that looks delicous. Bad news is, Forth and I are having lasagna tonight. But if you can’t have burritos, at least I can have a beer. Cheers!

**Back.

UPDATE: This made me lie on the couch in pain for a good 3 hours last night, worrying about my duodenal condition. But damn….it was tasty.

What it looks like.

Reposting from a new blog: Trysting.blogspot.com who re-posted from PatrickMoberg.com

That is all.

~Forth

NEWSFLASH: Thanksgiving Officially Cancelled.

MILWAUKEE_(AP)

After much consideration and careful thought, The United States of America officially abolished the Thanksgiving holiday Wednesday during a speech given by President Bush.

“Unfortunately, Thanksgiving is lodged between two holidays that are basically more commercially lucrative,” US Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson stated Wednesday. “From a capitalist standpoint, there’s simply no reason to keep the holiday around.” President Bush nodded in agreement from the nearby podium, then drooled out the side of his mouth a bit.

Retail giant Target hopped aboard the movement to get rid of Thanksgiving by erecting their Christmas displays just hours after Halloween ended. “We’re absolutely ready to skip Thanksgiving. Nobody wears a Thanksgiving costume. People don’t decorate Mayflower trees,” said Target CEO Gregg Steinhafel.

Despite Target’s rush from Halloween to Christmas, some customers simply aren’t ready to deck their halls just yet. “I ran to Target last Saturday for some Monistat 7 and grape juice and heard the frickin’ First Noel on the overhead speakers! What sort of bullshit is that?” customer Misty Liddell commented. “I still have candy corn stuck in my teeth and these psychos are pushing tree skirts.”

Dry goods retailers aren’t the only ones in agreement with the goverment ruling. Nov. 1 was also the first day that Starbucks debuted their festive red and white holiday cups. “The corporate offices thought it would be a good idea to introduce our holiday cups directly after Halloween,” said barista Holly Dowspan. “I’m not exactly sure why. That was a grande soy macchiato, right?”

Starbucks customer Bart Kiowa holds a similar opinion. “Shit, I don’t care if the cup is white, red, green or purple, so long as it holds my java. Far as I’m concerned it’s better than those stupid quotes that’re usually on the side. The way I see it, the cup design don’t matter much.”

Turkey companies such as Butterball and Jennie-O expressed outrage at the new decision. “Sure folks will cook up a turkey at Christmas, or maybe even Easter, but nobody eats as many turkeys as on Thanksgiving. This could very well be the end of Butterball,” CEO Keith Shoemaker commented. While families may go on celebrating Thanksgiving as they wish, it will be considerably more difficult without the days off that an official holiday allows.

“I’m not too worried,” says local mother Carmen Johnston. “We run a family-owned business and will continue on with our Thanksgiving festivities. To be honest, I’m okay with the early onset of the holiday season. With the economy the way it is, I could use the extra time and special sales to spread out my Christmas gift shopping.” Upon hearing this comment, President Bush responded, “Yerrppp muh muh beh” as a saliva bubble issued from his lips.

While feelings may be mixed about the official denouncing of the Thanksgiving holiday in order to make the Christmas season a staggering 3 month event, Americans are certain to maintain the liberty to commemorate the lost holiday privately as they choose. This includes marking the occasion with protests geared towards Native American rights and the reluctance to believe that the first Thanksgiving meal between the Indians and Pilgrims even occurred, which has escalated in popularity.

In fact, some folks like landscaper Paul Bodeman are in favor celebrating the holidays for nearly a quarter of the year.  “It’s nice to know that I can turn on 99.5 FM while we’re raking up leaves for the folks on Lake Drive and listen to 24-hour Christmas songs! Talk about setting the mood!”

Deep Sigh of Relief

That is all.

Edit:  THIS is all -

Just a Reminder…

…TO VOTE FOR OBAMA 2008!!!!!

**Forth & Back.